Femdom: The Ultimate Guide to Female Dominance and How to Get Started in 2024

Femdom is the art of female dominance over her submissive partners and can be a super sexy addition to your BDSM play and sex life!

It has been part of society, erotic literature, and life in general forever, and from Queen Cleopatra to the Amazons tribe, female dominance has always intrigued people.

Not all types of Femdom are the same though, and there are so many different kinks that fall under Femdom that it can be a bit confusing at first. This becomes even worse when you start watching femdom porn that almost always seems to be super cruel and humiliating.

In this guide, we’ll look at what Femdom is, what you need, how to get started, and why can be super sexy!

What is Femdom?

Femdom from “female” and “dominance” is a type of BDSM play or relationship where a female is the dominant partner who controls the submissive part, usually a man.

In Femdom, a female dominant – often called a Domina or Dominatrix – exercises control over a submissive partner – often called a sub or toyboy. This dynamic can manifest in various ways, from psychological dominance to bondage and discipline, and even cuckolding and fetish.

The power dynamic in femdom emphasizes the female in a position of control and authority. As this is often in contradiction to traditional gender roles (which we think are BS anyway), it is often seen as something different from other dominance and submission relationships between a dominant man and his submissive partner. We also call this “Maledom”

There is no one way to do femdom, just like there is no one way to live out BDSM, so it is hard to generalize anything.

There is a tendency – though no rule – that femdom relationships are often influenced by sadism, intense humiliation kinks, and often include cuckolding elements. In other cases, however, there are no such aspects and the couple prefers other types of play!

Types of Femdom Dynamics

No two Femdom relationships or dynamics are the same, but here are the most common types we have personally encountered in real life and at play parties. Some of these also go together and a gentle femdom relationship may also include some 24/7 aspects, for example.

Female-Led Relationship (FLR)

Female-led relationships – or commonly called FLR- are relationships entirely controlled and dominated by a woman. The degree of control varies but is often asserted 24/7 over the man (or the other woman). FLR is a common type of Femdom dynamic in BDSM but also a very general distinction. Therefore, some of the other types of Femdom below can also fall under FLR.

Gentle Femdom

Gentle or “normal” femdom doesn’t really follow any strict guidelines or rules, other than that the woman is in charge. It can or cannot include impact play, bondage, orgasm denial, and chastity, or anything else the people involved desire.

Findom

Findom or financial dominance is when the woman controls her partner financially. This may involve 24/7 aspects where the woman is in charge of the couple’s finances or spending, or can be a fetish where the man gets aroused by the woman spending his money lavishly on herself.

These connections are often (though not always) non-sexual and more common in professional dominatrix services.

Cuckolding FLR

There are many FLR and Femdom couples out there, especially in the swinger community, who practice cuckolding as their lifestyle. They may or may not be into BDSM play, but enjoy the sexual escapades of the wife a lot.

Some couples also include humiliation aspects here.

Mommy Femdom

Mommy femdom is a bit like the counterpart to Daddy-Little (DDLG) maledom relationships and includes age play between the caring but strict “mommy” (the domina) and her Little (the sub). This is also a pretty frequent theme in porn nowadays.

Sissyfication or Humiliation Femdom

Here, the male sub is turned into a “sissy” and dresses up as a girl. The goal is to humiliate him as much as possible by dehumanizing him, using psychological tactics like taunting his small penis, worthlessness, etc., or denying him sexual release.

How is Femdom different from Maledom?

Femdom, or female dominance, differs from other types of BDSM relationships, especially Maledom, primarily in the gender role of the dominant partner. However, there are also some specific practices mainly found in femdom.

Femdom has become increasingly popular in recent years it feels, as society becomes more open and more people are willing to throw out old “gender roles”. On paper, it is not much different from any other type of dominance and submission relationship, but since dominance is still often falsely connected to men, it has received its own term.

In practice, however, female dominance can sometimes be a little different from male dominance or maledom. Maybe exactly because of the stereotypical gender depictions, so let’s look at some key differences:

Psychological Aspect: Femdom often involves a significant psychological aspect, with a focus on the submissive partner worshipping or serving the dominant female. This can be more pronounced than in some other BDSM relationships where physical aspects might be more emphasized.

Orgasm Denial & Chastity: A lot of femdom couples practice some sort of orgasm denial and chastity. This is more pronounced than in other BDSM relationships and it isn’t uncommon that male subs may go without orgasm for very long periods of time (or never at all).

Cuckolding: Chastity sometimes goes hand in hand with a cuckolding fetish in which the sub is forced to watch his mistress have sex with others. From our experience, this is less so in Maledom dynamics. However, this isn’t a rule, just an observation.

Sissyfication: If you look online, you often get the feeling that the majority of femdom couples practice sissyfication – dressing the man up as a woman and treating him as if he were a little girl. I do know some people who actually do this in real life but it is far more uncommon than porn and the web want to make you believe!

So guys, if you are submissive and are looking for a Dominatrix, but still feel and identify as a man…don’t worry! There are many dominant women out there who are perfectly happy with you being very manly!

Being a male sub does not mean you have to act like a girl or “sissy”!

Femdom vs Professional Dominatrix

Femdom is simply a BDSM dynamic in which a woman is the dominant partner. Therefore, all professional dominatrix services are based on this female dominance and can be considered a subset of femdom.

Yes, there are male professional doms, however, far more female ones. We also call these “Dominatrix”. All of them practice femdom in one way or another, however, professional services differ a lot from those based on love and affection.

Femdom Myths vs Reality

Porn often depicts femdom as something super cruel, and sadistic, and every submissive guy will automatically be turned into a boytoy without rights or value who may never have an orgasm again. This is not the reality!

Now that you know what femdom means and what it may or may not include, we would like to clear up some of the most common myths and false impressions people can have about it:

Myth 1: All femdom Dominatrices are very cruel and sadistic

Just like in maledom dynamics, what people like or don’t like is super personal. A Domina may be sadistic and quite literally love to bust your balls…and others don’t!

Reality: If you are a masochist, you will have no problems finding a great counterpart. If you are not, that’s okay, too!

Myth 2: Femdom porn is like reality

No, no, and no! We can’t stress this enough! Porn is not like the real world and you see a lot of things in there that most people never do at home.

Reality: Porn is great for inspiration and maybe to get turned on, but don’t see it as a tutorial to follow.

Myth 3: You can always notice a femdom dynamic right away

I personally think after many years practicing BDSM you get sort of a “vibe” around other kinksters. Perhaps just like gays and lesbians sometimes do around other homosexual people. HOWEVER, this doesn’t always “work” and from the outside, you can almost never see or guess that a couple may be into femdom or BDSM at all!

Reality: Some couples make it obvious for the world to see they’re into femdom – just like others do so in maledom – but most people look completely normal from the outside.

Myth 4: Being in a femdom relationship means the guy never gets to orgasm again

Oh, chastity and orgasm denial can be really sexy, don’t get us wrong! 😈 However, as in every BDSM dynamic, you have to communicate clearly what you want and what you don’t want and set your limits as such!

Reality: Many men and women enjoy this as part of their dynamic but there are just as many femdom dominas who love to see their guys cum after a good session!

Myth 5: Male subs don’t need aftercare

This is such a big lie, it makes us angry even thinking about it! Aftercare is suuuuper important in BDSM play and every DS relationship, and men are no different here than women.

Reality: Always include aftercare in every session, no matter if you are in a maledom, femdom, or any other dynamic.

Conclusion

This was our guide to Femdom 2024 and we hope you learned something new!

Remember to always set limits, practice safe, sane, and consensual BDSM, and respect each other!

If you have a story to share about your femdom experiences, or have a question, leave a comment below and let’s get the conversation started!